Back-To-School?

If we have to school from home again in 2020-2021, I'm ready, Babies!   

The other day, we were over at a good friend's house, and he asked my daughter if she was looking forward to going back to school.  

"Not really," she said.

And I get it.  

She and I were in Target the other day.  Back-to-School was in the store.  Shiny new school unis, shiny new school supplies.  

This is the first year since 1983 that I have not felt pure, unadulterated joy at the sight of BTS.  In fact, I felt like I do every winter, when I've gone across the wool carpet in our family room and flipped the light switch.  I get zapped.  And two weeks into winter, every year, I get a little flinchy as I go through this process, walking across the carpet and flipping on the light.  So that feeling, with sorrow and dread stirred gently in.  That's how I felt the other day, seeing the Back-To-School displays at Target.  

Well, because I got attached to 2019-2020.  It started out with a lot of promise.  There was a lot to love about 2019-2020.  And then, four months ago to.day., and has it really only been 4 months?!, it all just went straight to hell.  Didn't even go on a ride in a hand-basket, either.  

You lived it, too, Friends.  I don't need to reminisce about how precious we were prior to 3:09 PM on March 13.  

I know things aren't going to be so precious come Back to School 2020.   

I think my daughter's a little bit afraid of getting attached to the ritual and routine, for fear it'll be ripped from us again come October, November.  I'm afraid myself of getting attached to the year, attached to my daughter's classroom, school events, friends, teachers... she's supposed to be in Third Grade this year.  It's the year she becomes an official Medium-Sized Kid.  That's something that should be magical.  I've looked forward to Third Grade (kind of- because who doesn't love a toothless little kindergartener?) since she went to school.  

I think we're both a little afraid of getting attached to Third Grade, wondering if there's a good chance it'll all get ripped away from us again.

I wonder if there'll ever be a time again when we can just take for granted the little thrill of excitement a display of new school supplies used to call up, and if we'll ever be able to take for granted again the routine and rhythm of a normal school-year.