Tuesday, July 7, 2020

The Week's Second-Runner-Up!


  Tuesday is seriously the week's Second Runner-Up!   
   
As a kid, I remember watching the Miss America Pageant every year.  This was back in the '80s, and for a little girl, that pageant was a visual delight of big hair and even bigger evening gowns.  Like half a hundred life-size Barbie Dolls on parade.

It was always so exciting when they'd narrow the field down to the top ten, and then the top five.

And then they'd announce the runners up.  Third and Fourth Runners-up probably have their own disappointments to contend with, but on the merciful side of looking, their baited breath gets to be let out a lot sooner. But they at least get their applause for being Third and Fourth Runners-Up.  

It must really stink to be First Runner-Up, because that applause isn't for you; in a top-five situation, when they announce the other four runners-up, you    know that applause isn't because you got First Runner-Up. It's because that bitch in the enormous sequined dress with the Dynasty shoulder pads Freakin' Won.   Yeah, if she falls and hits her head or gets caught posing or Playboy durning her reign, you'd get to wear the crown, but otherwise, you're a footnote.  

At least there's a pretty good chance, and some precedents that First Runners Up have ascended to Queen status.  

The one that I think of often is Second Runner-Up.  Too high up in the rankings to be a loser, too low to be a winner.  I don't think there's ever been a time when a Second Runner-Up winds up having the crown and sash passed to her on a technicality.  

Tuesday is the work week's Second Runner-Up, I have always thought.  Not obnoxious enough to unseat Monday from Most Complained About Day of the Week.  But compared to Friday and all its fun, Tuesday is never going to hold the title of Favorite Day of the Week, probably.  Wednesday gets to be Miss Congeniality, I'm pretty sure.   

Tuesday is usually fairly productive, because workers have shaken off the weekend wiggles on Monday.  Gotten all that out of their systems.  It lacks the excitement and anticipation Of Thursday.  Thursday is First Runner-Up, because I'm not sure if we all like it because of itself, or because Friday is the very next day.  Most people won't make eye contact with Tuesday.

Maybe Tuesday would feel like less of a smack in the middle of the pack loser of the weekly contest of popularity if she put on some sequins.  Maybe WE should put on the sequins on Tuesdays.  It won' t make Tuesday into Friday, but it'll give that day a little run for its money, for sure!  

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