Head in the Clouds, Heart on My Sleeve

When the clouds look like this, who can blame me for having my head in them?

I've always been a person who has her head in the clouds, literally and figuratively.  I always look up, reading the sky, whether the story is written in clouds, contrails, or the Stars of the Cosmos.  

That probably says a lot about who I am as a person.  I'm a daydreamer.  A romantic.  Most of the time, I have no trouble owning those things.  A daydreamer has a heck of an imagination, and imagination has gotten me out of countless jellies of a jam.  

I don't think it's always served me so well to wear my heart on my sleeve as much as I do. It leaves me feeling a little exposed sometimes, and when I've worn my heart on my sleeve as much as I do, it has left me open to being hurt, either on purpose or inadvertently.  

There are malicious people around, obviously, who get their jollies out of seeing just how miserable they can make someone else.  And people who wear their hearts on their sleeves are easy pickens.  Guaranteed results.  They're easy to write off as the jerks they are.  They set out to use something about you against you, and they hit their mark, and they are truly turds for doing so.

The ones that really take the breath away from someone like me are those who have no malicious intent; they might feel the same things as someone who wears it on their sleeve, but they might not know what to do with that.  They might not know how to communicate the emotions, for whatever reason.  They might not even be on the same map as emotions.

And it makes someone wears their heart on their sleeve feel like an over-reactor, honestly.  That they're too sensitive.  We get told that a lot by people.  After a while, it makes a heart-on-sleeve-wearer feel like some kind of freakazoid.  I know I've wished I could be more stoic.  

I'm not hard-wired that way, though, and there's probably good reason for that.  I don't know what I'd do with all my time, if I weren't caring too much and then feeling stupid for caring too much.  And, too, I think that eventually our tribe finds us.  The birds of a feather we're meant to flock together with find us, one by one.  

So I'll stay right the way I am, head in the clouds, heart on my sleeve, with my eyes and soul on the lookout for my tribe!