I Want To Be Where the People Are

Unfortunate resemblance to Ariel aside, I DO want to be where the people are!

Please don't get mad at me and flame me, Friends.  I'm not looking to pick a fight with anyone.  I'm just feeling some ugly feelings right now. 

I'm angry.  I'm frustrated.  I'm impatient.  I'm restless.  I'm bored.  I'm depressed.  I feel out of control.  I feel like a petulant, grounded thirteen-year-old.

I don't think I'm alone.  I think we're all feeling like this.

We're all sick of this, Friends.  Pandemic Purgatory.  I think we're sick of hearing about it.  We're sick of talking about it.  We're sick of living it.

I'm sick and tired of Zoom meetings.  Those things are only as good as people's skill with their microphones and cameras and their willingness not to mumble. 

I'm tired of take-out.  Don't get me wrong- I'm thankful that take-out is an option.  I'm grateful to have enough food.  It's nice sometimes to put on decent clothes and dine-in at an establishment. 

I'm tired of not being able to go to the skating rink.  I'm tired of having to drive past stores.  I'm tired of knowing if I do go into a store, I have to wear a mask and stick to The Essentials and Socially Distance.  I'm tired of driving to the school to drop off my daughter's work-packets and seeing the building silent and lifeless when, on these beautiful May Days, it should be positively Electric with activity and excitement that the school year is drawing to an end. 

I'm tired of the fact that there will be no proms, trips, in-person graduations this year. 

I'm tired of people being snapped at and chastised for voicing their disdain for being tired of Pandemic Purgatory, to be honest.  I'm tired of the sanctimony on both sides of this.  And here's why- I think we're all feeling restless.  I think we're ALL tired of all of this.  I think the "For F*ck's Sake Just Stay Home!" people are just as tired of Pandemic Purgatory as the "I Want A F*cking Haircut and Drink at the Bar!" people, but we're just voicing it in different ways, and everybody's just so invested in their particular flavor of Fed Uppitude at it all that they can't see that we're all saying basically the same thing. 

Everybody is TIRED OF, SICK OF the restrictions.  Of course saving lives is a priority to uphold.  Of course.  People are also concerned about their livelihoods.  How are they going to pay their bills, buy food, pay taxes?  Add to that, it doesn't seem likely that anybody has a bloody clue about what's happening or how best to handle it, especially not the people at the top who are calling the shots.  There is a lot of misinformation and disinformation getting disseminated.  Conflicting reports.  Conflicting advice.  Conflicting rules.  Fear is everywhere, and where there's fear, it often wears the mask of anger.  It is so easy to lash out when you're afraid and wearing the mask of anger.

Pandemic Purgatory isn't bringing out the best in any of us.  I don't suppose Purgatory would bring out people's best.  I just wish we could ALL step back and give each other room, without turning into a forest full of howler monkeys flinging shit at one another.  That's what my newsfeed feels like sometimes, especially in the comment section.  Just a bunch of howler monkeys flinging shit at one another.

It is possible to comply with the Pandemic Purgatory Restrictions, to follow the guidelines for social distancing and everything, while not "liking" to do so, one bit. 

Me?  Believe it or not, I just want to be where the people are.  Even taking into consideration all of this.  Especially taking into consideration all of this.  Because we are different with each other when we're in person.  Remember how, Before Corona, we'd roll our eyes at the Keyboard Warriors who talk big in the comments sections, but in person are actually quite reasonable to talk to?  Guess what?  We've all become Keyboard Warriors.  We've forgotten each other's humanity, and we've forgotten our own, because the only interactions we have are from the safety of being behind a screen.

I want to be where the people are, because once people start gathering again, it means that the worst is maybe behind us.  It'll mean we emerged from the fog, or maybe it lifted.  We all want to get back to... well, things are never going to be "normal" again.  I guess we all want to see that we'll get through this and be okay with whatever may come Next.  And once we all feel safe enough to gather again, we'll know we're there.  That's where I want to be.

I want to be part of THAT world.