In the space of a month, I've experienced green beans two new ways: The Dilly Bean, and The Fried Green Bean at TGIFridays. I've heard a lot about both beans, but never tried either.
The Dilly Beans happened because we came into a big bag of green beans and they needed to be used up. I figured I can buy canned green beans, but since I had some fresh ones, I'd try my hand at canning up some of the pickled beans. I was skeptical more in my skills as a canner than in how much I'd like Dilly Beans. Really, I don't think you can go wrong with green beans anyway, and adding pickly dill flavor to them just makes them better in my book.
So I searched the internet, which knows EVERYTHING, for a recipe for Dilly Beans as well as for a set of instructions. I've never canned All By Myself before, and when I'd "help" my mom can when I was a kid, it really amounted to cutting the beans up into one-inch segments to go in the jars. I never did or paid much attention to the process where the canner magically takes cut up fresh stuff and transforms it into Preserved Food.
It was not without some real trepidation that I approached the task of canning the Dilly Beans. I know that when you botch a canning project, you risk well- botulism, which seems like a poor way to spend a weekend, so I wanted to make sure I got everything Just Right. Fortunately, the Dilly Beans call for a brine mixture, which is boiled on the stove before being poured over the jarred beans. Also, you add some dill seeds, minced garlic, and cayenne pepper to each jar.
That cayenne pepper is tricky stuff, isn't it? I've ruined many a dinner dish by using too much cayenne, and that's really surprising because first of all, I'm not a firemouth (I'm a wimpymouth!) and second of all, I don't own a bottle of cayenne that's younger than twelve years. I mean, that stuff doesn't so much have a shelf-life as it has a half-life. And even though I was being careful with the cayenne so I didn't add too much and ruin the Dilly Beans, because you add the cayenne straight into each individual jar, we have Dilly Beans with varying degrees of zippitude to them. One night, we enjoyed a perfectly-balanced jar of the pickled beans. The next night, we opened up a new jar, and my husband, who isn't quite a firemouth but is by no means a wimpymouth, said mildly, 'this must have been a different batch?'
I had all I could do to get through my serving of Dilly Beans out of that jar, but once my mouth denumbified, they were actually pretty tasty. And really zippy. I've got to say I really like Dilly Beans and wish I'd have discovered them sooner in life!
The other new Green Bean Experience is the Fried Green Beans at TGIFridays. I remember when these first hit the menu. I yelled at TV: "Oh for Pete's sake, no wonder we're a nation of lardacious lazy losers! We even fry fecking GREEN BEANS!" For years, I've resisted them out of principle. Green beans are good food, good for you, if you can keep them out of the frying oil! Fix them right, with some lemon and basil and pepper, and they're fabulous. But frying? Unnecessary.
But see, we've amassed a small collection of TGIFridays gift cards, and as I was lamenting this to my very health-conscious sister about this (Because face it, Fridays is NOT known as diet-friendly, really), she said "You know what's great there? The Fried Green Beans with their Wasabi Sauce! They're amazing!"
After I peeled myself up off the floor from the shock of my sister who, without fail, splits her entrees and desserts with her husband and seems the type who wouldn't think of eating something fried when it has a nonfried alternative, she went on to explain that she wouldn't go to TGIFridays specifically to get Fried Green Beans, but if she was there anyway, because she had a gift card to there, they were a really good item on the menu, flavor-wise.
Well, of course they are. You could batter a piece of hardwood, fry it up, and everybody would think it's the most delicious thing ever! Frying tastes great!
So a couple weeks ago, Gift Card and Necessity intersected, as we were an hour into a very long road trip and needed some lunch, and we found ourselves at Fridays. I'm trying to be good, diet-wise, because thanks to that over-30 metabolism, consequences for taking in more energy than I expend in a day has almost immediate consequences. But here we were at Fridays, home of the Green Bean Fries, so I figured a) when in Rome and all, and b) my sister has enjoyed the Green Bean Fries and she's managed to stay tiny, so I ordered them.
Well, I'm sorry to report that I was all wrong about the sort of people who fry green beans. They were fabulous. I could see myself getting hooked on them. Thank goodness the nearest Fridays is an hour and a half from home! The Green Bean Fries are a weird combination, but they work, especially with the creamy wasabi sauce. I also feel as though this is a safe environment in which to enjoy wasabi, because that's another of those things that I tend to overdo when I have sushi. I really put the wasabi to the soy sauce and then spend my meal trying to remember how to breath through melting sinuses. The wasabi and fried green beans are nicely balanced, though.
So there you have it. Two ways to make really healthy green beans a little less so. The Dilly Beans are the lesser of the two evils, but being pickled in brine, they're good'n'salty. But they'll set you back only 15 calories a serving, and no fat. The Green Bean Fries and Wasabi Sauce, I don't know how many calories that'll cost you. But I'm sure it's a lot. Then add in the fat and salt that makes restaurant food taste better than what I cook at home, and it's probably a caloric disaster. Let's not think about it. I'm just thinking that when I find myself at Fridays and needing to order an appetizer, maybe I'll go with the Green Bean Fries instead of something utterly irresponsible yet delicious like Mozzarella Sticks. My new leaves turn over gradually and one at a time.
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