Monday, October 15, 2012

You Called Me An Idiot. I Believe What You Meant To Say Is This:

There's this thing happening these days that's really unpleasant.  It's this tendency to think that one's own way of thinking is the only way, and anybody who doesn't agree with those views is "an idiot."  I think this is why everything is so odious.  Anybody who doesn't share your opinions in politics is "an idiot."  Anyone who doesn't follow your particular religion is "an idiot."  Anyone who likes or dislikes something you dislike or like, respectively, is "an idiot."

I go through spells in my life where I get called an idiot a lot.  I will not say that it rolls off my back like water off a duck.  Quite the opposite, I'm afraid, as evidenced by the fact that I'm even writing about it.  Do I identify myself as an idiot?  No.  I don't think I know everything and have all the answers, but I'm not an idiot.  I DO know a real-life idiot, and I could introduce you to her, so you could see with your own eyes what an idiot is really like, but I believe that there are enough actual idiots running around that we all know one, so I shan't waste your time or my sanity.

I'm not sure if those who call/have called me "idiot" think I'm one of those actual, "Oh my Gawd, how does he/she not drown in the shower" idiots.  I mean, I've done some idiotic things- opening two loaded filing cabinets once, and the thing tipped over on me- idiotic?  Yep.  I was filing invoices, found one that I missed two drawers above the one I was working in, didn't even think, opened the drawer, and had an object lesson on why you don't open two file cabinet drawers at once.  Doing things like that are not part of my daily life, though. 

Then there are the kind of idiots who say things without thinking.  We've all been there, as well, either out of distraction, ignorance (the kind of ignorance that means Not Knowing Any Better, not ignernce, meaning they either know better or not, but aren't self-aware enough to self-edit), fatigue, stress, you know, heat-of-the-moment situations.  Saying an idiot thing once in a while does not an idiot make.  It's if someone has a track record of pretty much every single time you see them, every time they open their mouths, idiocy flows forth, well, then.  There you have an idiot.

I really don't think I'm either of those kinds of idiots.  What I do think is that the people who call me and other people "idiot" really mean to say "I disagree with you, but I'm too inarticulate to voice my disagreement in a coherent way, so I will insult your intelligence and hope it sticks and makes you think that I think you're as stupid as I feel right now."

It usually happens when somebody draws me into a political discussion.  I'm not a political scientist.  I'm not a Republican, I'm not a Democrat.  I'm a registered independent.  I find it troubling when someone can sum up their political beliefs in one word, or on a bumper sticker.  I choose my side on an issue, based on what I know about that issue.  I don't say yes to something because all my friends do, and on the flip, I don't say no because everyone else is saying yes.  Sometimes, when I am presented with new evidence, I've been known to change my mind.  This doesn't make me a flip-flopper; it makes me somebody who uses her brain.  I probably do more research on matters that matter than the people who tramp around in their "Arch Conservative!!!!" or "SuperLiberal!" T-shirts (figuratively- I've never actually encountered someone who's wearing T-shirts like these) who are the ones calling me "idiot."

I don't know what to do about all the rancor and idiot-calling that's going around.  Especially since it's an election year.  But I don't enjoy it.  I don't like debates.  I mean I don't like being drawn into them.  If I were attracted to that sort of thing, I'd run for some kind of office where you have to debate other people.  It just isn't me.

I definitely don't come from the school of thought that says "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."  Life isn't always nice.  People aren't always nice.  Are there some real idiots out there that deserve to be called out for their idiocy?  You bet!  I just think that idiot shouldn't be the default response to the different or the other opinion.  Why not say what's really happening?

I wish that instead of "Idiot!" being the first response to a dissenting opinion, even an opinion one feels strongly, even viscerally, that people could just say out loud what's really going on, that they disagree, and the disagreement is kind of uncomfortable for them.  If done right, disagreement can lead to discussion, which can lead to learning new information and seeing things from another angle, which can lead to changing a mind, or having to say 'I was wrong,' or less pejoratively, 'I used to think a certain way, but in light of new things I've learned from listening to people and reading things I didn't agree with, I've come to a conclusion that's different from the position I held in the past.'  We're so afraid of having to acknowledge ignorance.

It's less time and energy-consuming just to bellow out "Idiot!!!" and go on our ways.  And that's too bad.


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