A Dream So Weird It Has to Mean Something

Having a baby in real life: It was fun, but I am done!

I had the weirdest dream the other night.  I had this dream where I was at a hospital, having another baby, but instead of having a nice, private hospital room like I had when I had my daughter, it was like we were in an airport.  You know how there's that long hallway, and then the gates are little alcoves where the gates are. 

My hospital delivery airport gate featured dark red carpet (yikes!) and a private bathroom in that I was the only one in the alcove and that bathroom was for my use, but people were walking up and down the big hallway in the middle of the big concourse-like hospital.  There were no doors or curtains or anything.  In fact, as I was being prepped to have this strange dream-baby, a whole bunch of friends and acquaintances who were strolling through the central hall kept sticking their heads in to the LDRP alcove to say, "Oh, hey, April!  Good luck on having that baby!" and then going on their way.

Another weird thing was that the doctor who was "my" doctor was some random good-looking dude who is NOT my doctor, and I knew it in the dream, but he's the one who happened to be on call.  And he didn't really know much of what he was doing.  The nurse who was getting me ready was literally an intake specialist who'd take my insurance card down in registration, and they'd put a lab-jacket on. 

They said I probably wouldn't need a C-section for this Dream Second Baby, but they made a "pilot incision," just in case they'd need C-section access later.  In the dream, I said "That's not how Dr. Lanphere did it when I had my daughter," and I was answered from the "nurse," "Well, this isn't Dr. Lanphere's show, and you had your daughter before Coronavirus.  This is how we do things after Coronavirus."

And at that point, I said to myself, "April, this is a dream.  This is an awful dream.  It is time to wake up."  And I did. 

So I'm sorry I don't know how it all turned out.  Believe me, I'm curious myself.  I can assure you one thing, though.  I'm not having any baby.  Not now, not a year from now.  I've been there and done that.

Here's what I'm wondering, though.  That dream maybe meant something.

When I was in college, when I wasn't writing or in a writing workshop, a large part of my education was analyzing the things others wrote as I searched for symbolism.  In a literature class, the thing in front of you is never the Thing Itself.  You have to dig to get to that.  And dreams are much the same.  They're an acting-out of the subconscious.  So you can't take the things you dream about and interpret them literally.  You have to dig a little deeper through the symbology. 

So in dreams, being pregnant might mean that your subconscious is connecting to something in your waking life that is under development, like a new career, or something new creatively, or a new relationship, or starting a big project.  And giving birth in a dream can mean that all those plans and development are about to come to fruition.  It all revolves around something that's about to give you some type of new life.

I think it's pretty telling that my dream took the time to address "before Coronavirus" and "after Coronavirus."  Before Coronavirus, I decided to go back to school and learn how to be a health and life coach.  After the quarantine started up, I decided to start my blog again... hi there, Reader!  :-)  I was going through some issues Before Coronavirus that are in a messy, kind of painful transitional state right now, During Coronavirus, and I don't know what life is going to look like After Coronavirus, but I know it'll certainly be "new" in one way or another, or in maybe lots of ways.  And I've decided to put some of my own creative work out into the world. 

Taking all of this, ALL OF THIS into account, it makes complete sense that I'd be having a dream about being on the cusp of labor and delivery of a baby.  In a few of these things in my waking life that I have under development, I'm working on it, but I haven't delivered on them yet.  I'm about to get into a messy, highly creative/productive, most likely painful stage of things.  (Labor is a messy and highly productive and painful transition, too.) 

And all I can make of the shit-show that was a labor-and-delivery unit in what seemed like the world's most half-assed mashup of an airport and a hospital, and that odd "pilot incision in case I need a C-section," because that's how "they" do things in the world of this dream "after Coronavirus," it's telling me I'm not going to be able to rely on doing things I did them or being the way I was Before Coronavirus and the Quarantine in my waking life.  I think the reason so many family and friends and acquaintances were peeking in to the LDRP alcove I was in is because I've been fairly public about my plans this time around.  I got the feeling that people were checking in to see how it's going, which is certainly right in line with the way it's been here in this During Coronavirus period of time.  I'm hearing from and interacting with more people on a deeper level than I've been accustomed to in my adult life.  And it doesn't feel like they're up in my business.  It makes me feel more connected than I have in ages.

So I guess I can thank the Manic Dream Theatre in my Head for this super-weird yet thought-provoking dream the other night. 

But I super-assure you.  You will not be visiting me in a maternity unit at a hospital near anybody in the near or far future.  I have been there, done that, bought the stroller, carseat, baby carrier, all the bottles, bouncy chair, sleepy swing... and it was certainly fun while I was in that season of life, but boy howdy, that.  is.  done!